Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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