Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
