Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
