How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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