well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
