dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize