Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
