sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Im part way to drunk.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
