We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
