Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
