Whod you bang
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
