You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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