please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dear god my vagina.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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