Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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