Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
