I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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