there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
