I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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