Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
