just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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