and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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