I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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