so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
