He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
