the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
