He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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