ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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