Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
