We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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