i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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