I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
