She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
