New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
