just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
