C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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