I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
