she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake