when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in