let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.