i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Even my vagina gasped.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude