Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
