How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
where am i from again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck