Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?