in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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