I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
