i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
