Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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