i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
