I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
