we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But break dance skills will only take you so far
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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