I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
