she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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