I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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