Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
