so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
