Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
