i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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