Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
