the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
