you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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