What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
