discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come back. Shots need mouths.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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