Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i think i just lost a toe
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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