So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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