You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
