Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
