Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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