I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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